This morning... (after my big night of fight to the finish)...i was strolling slowly to my barn, holding my hands out on each of my sides to aid in balance...JESUS showed up with a "Do you remember?"
"Do you remember when Hannah was so sick?"
Now Hannah, my oldest daughter was "so sick" a lot growing up...but my mind went immediately to a picture of my 12 year old Hannah curled up on the end of our playroom couch. Hannah sat sick, very sick and struggling to breathe. Eyes glossy and face pale. The LORD obviously was talking to me today about this particular "sick" time.
"Yes, LORD, i remember."
The picture played like a reel in my mind's eye...recalling the story: I had walked into the playroom, with heavy heart, something every mama feels when her child is suffering and she can't take it away. I sighed just a bit from pain and frustration as i assessed my babies situation. It still wasn't good. Even multiple doctor trips hadn't helped. I cuddled next to my girl and wrapped myself around her tightening body.
"Hannah, i'm gonna pray for you again. And i know for certain that the LORD could take this sickness away from you instantly. This is no problem for HIM. But i want you to know something, Hannah...if HE doesn't...if HE doesn't heal you right now...it's because HE has something better for you...something we may not understand yet...and i know this... because HE always gives us HIS best. When we ask...He gives us HIS best every-time."
She nodded her tired little face in agreement as i laid my hand on her head and prayed again to the GOD of Heaven to heal my baby...a short... little... tiny ...little...non-impressive...little...heartfelt prayer.
I looked at my girl as she took a breathe...a real, deep, unobstructed breathe. I watched as her eyes changed from dull to life...i smiled as i felt her body relaxed in my arms...she was healed. Completely. And it never came back.
A grin lite my face this morning, as i turned back to the LORD with our memory. "That's a good one LORD, I like that memory." I was a little surprised to be met with silence. HIS silence, however, only meant that that memory was a deposit from HIM...to me...this morning...for me to invest in...to ponder, to think about, to relearn from.
Years ago i had learned this lesson...but the LORD knew today it was worth digging out of our treasure chest of memories. HE sovereignly knew that holding this memory jewel up in front of me again would lead me to reflect and admire...and to meditate on the beauty of HIS Wisdom, HIS Goodness, and HIS Power.
The same GOD who honored my prayers many afternoons ago...is the same GOD who hears my prayers today. The same GOD who put life and breathe back into my daughters body... is the same GOD who has chosen not to heal me... but has clearly told me to rest these next 3 months.
And this is the GOD whose loving character reflects in every precious gem memory we share together. Hidden away in my treasure chest of learning....tremendous bounties of gold, silver, diamonds and rubies locked away for our secret pleasures. And on the top of our buried-in-my-heart treasure chest ...there is beautifully inscribed... with the holiest of words...He Always Gives Me His Best......
............................................................HE ALWAYS GIVES ME HIS BEST..................................................................