My youngest boy, towered over me, and looked down.
The fall was so sudden we both shockingly looked into one another's eyes for a moment...processing what just happened...then we spoke simultaneously, aloud to each other, the same short sentence...
"That wasn't good."
The concussion symptoms grew steadily worse over the next few days...leaving me at day 7 with a constant headache, nausea, extreme dizziness, fatigue and crying jags. I cannot even walk to the potty without help.
I am writing this blog in several shorts spurts as my brain cannot handle even the smallest stimulation.
Spurt 1......GOD is faithful HE loves me and HE cares for me and HE cares about me. HE watches over my life. HE sees and HE hears and HE knows.
Spurt 2.....GOD is good to me. HE never stopped being good. And through all the disappointment and pain this concussion has caused. Through all the "this is putting me WAY behind in life" thoughts...i am keenly aware that it could be worse. Always could be worse.
Spurt 3.....I realize that any life trauma, concussion or other....any shaking of our bodies..any tearing of our safety nets, any rupturing of our plans, or even breaks in our relationships....causes us frail humans trauma and pain. And that trauma and pain leads to an opening in our lives....a break in our wall...a breach in our beings....that leaves us vulnerable, weak and susceptible to attacks from our enemies.
Spurt 4....I also know that this same trauma, exact pain, and real suffering... is... at the same time, an opening for the HOLY SPIRIT of GOD to move in and invade every single part of that brokenness...to infuse every moment of that suffering...and set up HIS camp on every inch of that pain.
Spurt 5....So on day 7 of my suffering, i'm gonna write me some words, that i can go back and read on day 10,11,or 12...(if that's the way this is gonna unfold)....so i can remind my feeble self that it's not so much about the trauma...but it is more about who i let invade my trauma...who i allow to seep into those broken places....and who i surrender my walls to.
Spurted out................